Part 1

I was born in 1986 in London, UK.

I was raised in the Christian church and had two younger sisters. We moved to Devon and in my late childhood my parents separated. My Mum, my sisters and I moved to a new home and town.

As a teenager, I was full of the usual angst and awkwardness. I worked hard at school and enjoyed learning, but had very limited understanding of the world.

The only strange thing was that I had an intense fear of walking alone, especially under a little bridge that crossed the river. It was a very quick route from our home to the shops, but I always wanted someone to come with me.

It was odd, but only made sense later on with the remembering of my last past life.

I went to study at Oxford Brookes University in 2004.

I struggled with homesickness and depression during my first year, though started to feel more settled as I progressed through my course. Once again, I applied myself diligently to my academic studies, though I felt clueless about my future.

After I graduated, I became involved in a relationship that felt passionate and exciting at first but soon became emotionally and physically abusive. After this relationship ended I had a breakdown and struggled to rebuild myself psychologically. I later found out this ex-partner had a personality disorder. And I believe they were placed in my path and were the catalyst to help me unlock deeper knowledge and self-awareness.

My healing journey began in 2010.

These experiences catapulted me into the field of healing and meditation. I started to attend meditation classes and to receive Craniosacral Therapy (an incredible treatment). I was reading on different spiritual traditions, particularly Buddhism. I also began studying counselling at this time and realised that I am highly sensitive.

I became aware of my emotions and started being able to express them. I had not even realised how disconnected I was from myself, and how ungrounded in the world. A lot of the healing was around my throat area, as I often felt a tightening and deep pain in my throat. At times I could even struggle to speak. This, too, would make sense with the past life knowing.

Spiritual experiences started happening. I would feel and sense energy and have vivid dreams and visitations. The world of spirit was knocking on my door, literally!

When some big changes started happening in my workplace, I knew it was time for a new adventure and the opportunity for deeper healing. New Zealand was calling and I booked my flights.

In 2013, I visited New Zealand (Aotearoa).

I had no clue what I was doing or where I was going. I connected with friends of friends and began hopping around the country. So much time alone, with myself and with nature, in a country with beautiful spiritual connections to the land, was the perfect place for some very deep healing.

My soul felt at home and felt great peace there, particularly at or in the sea.

At that stage, I still thought I was healing from the previous relationship. I was at the sea whenever I could, I journaled and followed Deepak Chopra’s The Deeper Wound as a meditative guide on my travels. It was intense and emotional at times. And exhausting. But it deepened my connection to myself and my intuition - what felt right each day, what I needed.

I met some incredible people, saw some spectacular sights and had some profound spiritual experiences. Feeling the Māori ancestors in various places and in the remote South Island I stumbled across a sound healer that I knew I needed to reach out to. It was an incredible healing, overlooking the ocean, and afterwards this strange cloud formation came over. The woman, who had lived there for a long time, said she had never seen anything like it.

I also felt the presence of Jesus a little further along the coast, in the deepest stages of my healing.

The remoteness and scarcity of people I think enabled me to connect at these deep levels.

I attended the Angel Intuitive Retreat in Australia.

After a brief time back in the UK, I felt called to return. This time I decided to visit Australia on my way back to New Zealand and join the Angel Intuitive retreat on the Gold Coast.

When I landed in Australia I felt absolutely terrified. I had no idea why, although this again makes sense once I understood my past life.

The retreat was quite an extraordinary event, full of hundreds of spiritually-minded people. The energy was intense and at the end this enormous storm broke out over the sea, bringing with it hailstones the size of golf balls! I had never seen anything like it.

As I travelled and moved back to New Zealand to work for a year in the North Island, I continued to connect with angels and ask for healing. I would walk nearly every day on the beach, practice tai-chi and swim. There were some occasions when I felt unsafe and my body would shake. I thought I just needed to work harder at my healing and do more.

In 2014, I remembered my most recent past life.

It was prompted by a series of events.

In July, I went down to my usual beach after work but as it was getting dark there I was not able to walk. I just went down to the water’s edge and took a photo of the sunset. Then a man approached me.

I had gotten so used to speaking with strangers and making new friends and acquaintances that it came as second nature to stop and chat.

At first it seemed innocent, he asked me about the photo and where I was from, and he told me he was an artist and talked about his work. Then he said a couple of things that seemed very odd. First, he complimented me on my smile. I had not seen him before that day, but was very familiar with people who walked the beach as I visited so often. Immediately I felt something was off. Then he said something even stranger - that he had seen me in my coat earlier in the year. Well, it had been summer and I had not even had my coat with me as it was brought across during a trip to Hong Kong to see my long-distance partner of the time.

Suffice to say, his advances became a bit more uncomfortable and it was getting darker. I told him I was meeting a friend and made a quick exit!

I went over to see a good friend, totally freaked out. Something inside me was intensely agitated. We both sat there and had the immediate knowing: he’s been watching you.

All those times I felt unsafe were not me not working hard enough at my healing, they were my body signalling to me that someone was watching me with impure intention.

That night I barely slept, I cannot describe how petrified my soul was.

Once back at the place I was staying, I asked to move upstairs as I did not feel safe in the basement. I had the sense of eyes watching me and there were numerous doors that were rarely locked. I was completely terrified.

After a couple of nights I wrote in my diary that “my throat is killing me” before bed. That night I had an intense dream where I was at a train station with my luggage, getting a ticket for a train. The ticket had lots of words and numbers on it that kept changing. Once I got on the train I was asking the conductor where my seat was, and he turned to me and said “I like you”.

When I woke up I remembered some of the words and numbers. I googled them and an article came up linked to death by strangulation in Australia. I was covered head to toe in tingly cold goosebumps, and I knew that that was me. My throat symptoms had gone! It was simultaneously terrifying and miraculous. It was a few days before my birthday but I felt like I had been reborn!

When I looked into the details, it made sense of so many of my symptoms, fears and other experiences in this lifetime.

Part 2

To be continued.