Witnessing Wounds in the Process of Healing
I have been reading Brené Brown's book Rising Strong, which follows on from her other research-based books and famous TED talks about vulnerability, shame and courage.
Brené is a grounded theory researcher, and I find her work makes so much sense when thinking about the process of healing and the work I do.
In Rising Strong she talks frankly about what happens to us after we "fall down".
I don't know many writers, or researchers, who discuss so openly the real difficulties of showing up as authentic in our lives, and the real grit it takes to get there - and to get back up when we fall.
Brené talks about authenticity as stepping out into the arena - being vulnerable, opening your heart, entering into your emotional world. And that it is inevitable that if you step out and show up, sometime you will "fall down".
We all know that falling hurts.
Emotionally, falling down requires time and space for healing. We are wounded or suffering.
Too often we are more willing to jump back up, to be "fine", than to do the real work of feeling our way around on the ground, climbing back up and standing - more authentically - on our feet.
Because being face down in the arena hurts. You will need non-judgemental and compassionate support, whether that is from friends, family or a professional.
Sadness by Jerry Ferguson
As children we naturally show up as authentic, spontaneous and connected to our emotions. For people on their healing journey, it is about returning to your innate sense of self, and letting go of barriers and defences that stop you living a wholehearted life.
The process of healing occurs between falling down and getting back on your feet. When the wounds are still raw, still in need of care and time. When all you want to do is to get back up, to feel OK, to not feel this pain.
Brené's research shows: you can't skip the step between falling and getting back up.
You have to lean into the difficulty, the discomfort, the hurting.
You have to be in this messy middle part of the process.
This is the complexity of healing. Navigating through difficult emotions, like hurt, anger and shame.
Allowing yourself to be seen and heard in your great depth and richness.
It is one of the greatest privileges of my work to be able to witness wounds in the process of healing.
To see people's true vulnerability, courage, emotional depth and honesty. Wounds are beautiful, really, when you see them like this.
To witness wounds in the process of healing is also to be present to the blessing that follows - people rising strong.
Need some help navigating the complexity of your healing process? Email bryony@creativesoultherapies.com
Find out more about Brené Brown at www.brenebrown.com