Seeking Healthy Ways To Satisfy Your Inner Hungers
Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis, wrote about hungers at the core of every human being.
You can think of these ‘hungers’ as needs - essential biological and physiological needs to enable each person to grow and thrive.
Meeting these needs in healthy ways helps each person feel authentic and empowered in how they interact with the world.
In today’s culture many people meet these hungers in unhealthy ways, perhaps without realising the deeper and more vulnerable needs beneath. Unhealthy ways include overeating, over-shopping, overthinking, overworking, alcohol misuse and abuse, substance misuse, internet addiction, watching too much TV, reckless behaviour.
In her Appetite Paths Model, Jody Mardula (2001) expanded upon this TA concept of ‘hungers’ to encourage people to access healthier ways of meeting these hungers, and so come into greater balance in themselves and their lives (as well as bring greater balance to the lives around them).
I will outline the 6 hungers here, as well as some potential healthy ways to meet them in your life. You may be able to identify other ways to meet your own needs in healthy ways.
In choosing a healthier appetite path, you nourish your core self.
Photo by Oscar Due Wang from Pexels
CONTACT HUNGER
This is the basic human need and desire to have contact with others through touch, though as we grow older we can also receive contact through being in the presence of others.
Healthy ways to feed contact hunger: hugs with friends, connecting to family, time with pets, grooming horses, bodywork & massage, contact sports (if relatively safe), handshakes & pats on the back, meeting new people
RECOGNITION
We all have a need, which can become a yearning if unsatisfied, to be recognised. Ideally to be recognised as our authentic selves, with our unique strengths, gifts and quirks!
Perhaps this is the hunger so many people are seeking to fulfill in a world filled with social media posts, likes and images? Finding out who you are is essential for meeting this hunger.
Healthy ways to feed recognition hunger: spending time with people who recognise who you truly are, therapy / the therapeutic process, aligning your roles with your values, volunteering for causes you believe in, expressing your words or art in the world, recognising your true self through introspection & mindfulness
STIMULUS
This is the seeking of sensations that awaken your inner self. This can include the basic five senses of taste, touch (see Contact Hunger), smell, sound and vision… and I think this can be expanded to include extra senses like intuition, proprioception and equilibrioception
Healthy ways to feed stimulus hunger: eating fresh seasonal organic food, spending time at the ocean, having an aromatherapy massage or bath, listening to music of all kinds, being in nature, gardening, swimming, yoga, going to a sound bath, singing, joining a choir, reading something you enjoy, enhancing your psychic senses
STRUCTURE
Also known as time structure, this is how we structure our time. I often think about Hugh Grant’s character in About A Boy who divides his time into 30 minute segments of various activities.
Some people like (or need) more structure than others. Is this an area of your life to give more attention to? Or do you need to bring more balance to how you structure your time?
Healthy ways to feed structure hunger: work that aligns with your values or skills, sports clubs, cooking meals, time for meditation, contributing to community groups, attending spiritual or faith groups, time for self-care, rest time, planning events, studying something new
SEXUAL
While this hunger was given the name Sexual Hunger, it relates not only to intercourse and sexual activity, but also to passion and creativity. This is about a deep love of life and at its very core, I think this hunger is about living from your soul and your spirituality.
Healthy ways to feed sexual hunger: creating art, visiting art galleries, giving life to your passions, flower arranging, cake decorating, consensual sex, spiritual practices, extending love to yourself and the world
INCIDENT
Incident hunger might be seen as an extension of Stimulus hunger, in that the seeking is of sensations. In this case, the need is for more incidence, for bigger experiences that affect body and mind.
There are a personality sub-type of people who are high-sensation seeking (HSS) and this hunger might speak to you. Do you seek out novelty and exhilarating experiences?
Healthy ways to feed incident hunger: visit new places, try adventure sports like rock climbing or windsurfing, organise charity events like abseiling or skydiving, try adventurous recipes, go to concerts, take part in flashmobs for good causes, travel, dance dance dance!
Meet your needs for contact, stimulus and deep recognition with bryony@creativesoultherapies.com
REFERENCES
Berne, E. (1970) Sex in Human Loving. Simon and Schuster, New York.
Boliston, J. (2001) The Appetite Paths Model. TAJ, 61.