Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Opening To Success
I often come across people who sabotage their own goals, whether consciously or unconsciously. It's a very common phenomenon in psychology, complementary therapies and coaching practices.
Does it sound familiar to you? You want to reach your goal, but seem to sabotage yourself and undo all your good intentions.
We usually know what is in our highest and best interests, so why can it be so hard to take action?
In the healing process it is easy to act on the voice of self-sabotage. There is so much in the healing journey that is painful to feel, difficult to hear, impossible to imagine changing. So there is plenty to avoid, dismiss or give up on prematurely.
Here is my advice:
1) Firstly, commit to a regular practice and schedule it in - no excuses. Whether that is a health class, meditation practice or therapy appointments. The process can take effect if given the space, time and commitment.
2) Secondly, change your thinking. Befriend your personal sabotage (and sabotaging behaviours).
3) Thirdly, remember that your soul is willing you to grow, expand, let go of the past and become all that you can be. Remember your potential.
Flight into the beams by Broo-am (Andy B)
How do you do these things?
Committing to a practice means booking it in, getting a diary or calendar, adding alerts and reminders to your phone. If you need an extra push for this first step, consider making a down payment in advance or contracting with someone else - it's more likely you will stick to your commitment if you have told other people what you will be doing.
In befriending your self-sabotage, you are accepting that it is a form of behaviour, thinking or feeling that is trying to protect you, to keep you safe. Whichever step of your healing process you are at wouldn't feel so scary unless you had either a) not encountered it before, or b) encountered it before and been met with a negative outcome.
The self-sabotage protects you from the unknown, and keeps you from getting hurt again (or feeling the original pain of any past hurt). It's pretty smart really.
So you have a smart friend, a protective and caring friend, but it is scared. Listen to it with compassion and understanding, as you would a real friend. And then you can advise accordingly - do you follow the advice of this friend to stay small, to leave your goals incomplete? Or are you willing to step forward, go through the difficulty to reach the light of your potential?
Remembering your potential is an intentional act - you have to want to listen and hear the 'still, small voice' within. This starts with faith, a belief in your own blossoming potential.
Focus on your hopes, aspirations and goals. Make them smart too - realistic and achievable - and maintain your focus on the positive actions to move towards them. Here is where it can be useful to seek support if you require extra help to navigate through sabotage or any fears about stepping into your potential.
Make space to listen to yourself. Your potential speaks quietly, your soul whispers and your intuition is very subtle. So you need quiet space - time outdoors, meditation, time to journal. Whatever method suits you best to tune into your core self.
Above all, honour your promises to yourself. You are an extraordinary being.
Gentle support overcoming self-sabotage and realising your potential with bryony@creativesoultherapies.com