A breaking of the bond between mother and infant can happen at any time - in utero, during birth or while growing up.
The potential reasons are many - an unwanted child, a difficult birth, postpartum depression, a lack of connection during pregnancy, trouble with breastfeeding, miscommunication and mis-attunements, or even a lack of love that the mother herself received as a child.
The deep, natural instinct of mothering can be thwarted by life events, societal expectations, stress, competing demands or even under the guise of ‘good advice’.
The breaking of this sacred bond between mother and child, no matter the cause, will have significant effects on the developing baby’s connection to self and spirit.
The mother bond offers protection, love, nourishment, and security.
We all have these innate needs. Our first experiences of the world as safe, secure, loving and nourishing can lay the foundation for our sense of the world, and our sense of ourselves in the world.
If any of these aspects are missing, the effects will be felt on emotional and spiritual levels, and depending on the cause it could also be felt on physical and nutritional levels too. The effects will continue to have an impact, as the growing child’s sense of self and meaning-making is built upon the earlier experiences.
The earlier the wounding occurs, the deeper the effect on the self.
Do you notice a particular aspect, or more than one aspect, which has suffered some wounding in you?
Fortunately the soul’s journey allows for us to heal our wounds, even these very deep and painful wounds within.
We can repair this broken bond within our own psyche, through relationship and spirit where we can experience the protection, love, nourishment and security we may have missed out on earlier.
We must journey within ourselves and become aware of all of the experiences that shaped us - especially those that happened pre-verbally - alongside a compassionate counsellor or therapist.
We access the implicit memory through the body, which experienced it all and remembers it all, even where it is difficult to give words to.
Working with our inner child through our body sensations, we reach a place in ourselves of our true spirit. This is the place where we can return to a sense of wholeness within ourselves, without the sense of separation we may have carried since babyhood or childhood.
We need to reach out beyond our original mother to find a source of healing.
Luckily, we can do this work in the emotional realm with the support of a counsellor or therapist. We do this through human eyes and alongside another - we are human and must be in relationship to repair any ruptures.
And we are also joined by the cosmic and mysterious forces beyond our ordinary awareness, to access healing in the spiritual realm.
In my work, I often find that the Earth herself will offer holding and nourishment. We know that just being in nature is calming and good for our physical, mental and emotional well-being.
And very often, the spirits of grandmothers will be present to support their grandchildren, no matter the age, and offer their love, security and encouragement. Love from grandmothers, or even great-grandmothers, over time can fill the void of missed love from your mother.
The love that flows down from our ancestors is immense and sustains us throughout life if we choose to connect to our roots. Here we know that we are loved, cherished, protected and nourished.
And we heal the original mother wound.
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