I am writing this blog as a white woman in the UK, at the beginning of my re-education journey into colonialism, racism, black history/herstory and social justice.

Constructive comments welcome to bryony@creativesoultherapies.com

SILENCE

A few weeks ago, I was in a meeting proposing a new idea and got cut down. What I realised after the meeting was that people who might have been supportive did not speak up, and so the conversation was dominated by only a couple of critical voices based, I think, on fear.

Supportive people did not speak up.

During this time Black Lives Matter was taking to the streets in response to the murder of George Floyd. And I realised that I had not spoken up, showed up or offered my active support to black people and other people of colour, who experience systemic racism on a daily basis.

My meeting experience above is not the same of course, it simply served to highlight the importance of not remaining silent.

As a white woman in the UK, I have lived my whole life with white privilege. The majority of my childhood was spent in white middle class towns, I was taught in near-total white schools (with white lessons) and I now work in a white-majority field, working mostly with white clients.

With this white frame of reference I asked: who was I to write on this topic?

But whenever I thought about writing and the injustice, pain and struggle experienced by black people and oppressed minority groups, I was filled with a spiritual energy that said I must speak up; I must no longer be a silent ally. I was reminded of bell hooks writing of her “faith in the power of white people to speak out against racism, challenging and changing prejudice”. I have this platform and the freedom to express my views, and so I have a responsibility to speak truth to oppression.

Systemic, structural racism has been raging beneath the surface of the UK’s culture for centuries and it permeates every aspect of our current lives, whether we realise it or not. Like a disease, we are all affected and no-one is immune.

My passion is enabling health, wellbeing, joy and freedom in the people I work with. My purpose is facilitating people’s re-connection with their essence, their truth and the source of Love. I do not believe that we can thrive in our fullest potential if others around us are not able to do the same - or worse, if it is at the expense of others - or most terribly if it is at the cost of a collective group of ‘others’ arbitrarily labelled as inferior and forced to suffer under a blanket of silent oppression.

Speaking up is essential (if it is safe for you to do so); silence is a dangerous ally of oppression.

And so I am calling myself out, and stepping up. I am educating myself. Each person who speaks out against racism, injustice and oppression turns up the volume of the collective movement.

ACCOUNTABILITY

Accounting (in Transactional Analysis thinking) requires us firstly to acknowledge a problem, secondly to identify the significance of the problem, thirdly to think creatively of the options available, and finally to implement solutions.

For some people, there is simply no acknowledgement of the issue or existence of racism - and this is hard, if not impossible, to move beyond. I think this is the stage where Reni Eddo-Lodge stopped talking to white people about racism - the “barrier of denial” as she put it. The protest movement of Black Lives Matter is raising the problem in people’s awareness - an essential step on the path to full accountability.

For those who acknowledge that there is a problem, the next step is to identify the significance of the deep and pervasive systemic racism alive in our culture today. This is a huge undertaking requiring energy, commitment and the space to confront the enormous shadow cast by slavery, devastating human rights abuses, and denying freedom and dignity to other human beings.

In its enormity: witnessing the extensive abuse, oppression and mistreatment of millions of black people (and many other countries and races) at the hands of white people, and the ongoing structural racism present in society.

After realising the significance of the issue, we are able to envisage a full range of options available to effect anti-racist change, mobilise and implement solutions to create a different future - but this process follows an order and we cannot skip over any step.

I think collectively as a society we are in the earlier two stages of accounting: acknowledging that there is a problem - an insidious sickness infecting the heart of our society - and realising the true significance of systemic racism.

It is stomach-churning, heart-breaking and will take serious energy to digest, process and begin to heal as people and as a society.

THE SYSTEMIC PERSPECTIVE

Drawing on what I have learned from systemic constellations, it is no surprise that it is taking us (collectively) many generations to recognise the horrors of slavery and the consequent legacies of injustice and inequality that survive today.

Given that the abolition of slavery is still in our recent collective memory (in terms of human history) and that the extent, and far-reaching effects, were utterly abominable and continue to be devastating, it is difficult to fully comprehend in body, mind and soul the enormity of the actions of the past and their pervasive effects today.

I remember a conversation I had last year with a white woman, who was married to a black man and they were experiencing difficulties in the relationship. After this conversation I had a dream in which I was supporting a constellation of this family. My inner sense was that the issue at its root was about slavery.

In this dream constellation, behind each person were placed representatives for their ancestors, including those ancestors who were slaves behind the black man. At this point there was so much pain it was almost unbearable.

The black ancestors said that the white people could not see the horrific cruelty and unimaginable pain inflicted on Africans and slaves (the dream included Native Americans too). Even as a witness of the constellation I was aware that they were right: I could not see fully as a white woman. [To see in this sense is to really know and feel the truth of the entirety of slavery and pain]

Then the constellation shifted and both myself and the white woman could SEE. We saw the depth and extent of the pain, as well as our collective guilt.

There is much discussion of white guilt and how helpful, or not, it is. Years ago I listened to Brené Brown say that guilt is useful as a motivator, as opposed to shame which shuts us down and nothing changes. Guilt can motivate us to do better, it propels us to change our thoughts, actions and behaviour. Guilt morphing into self-pity or paralysis is not helpful, though I think this may happen on a regular basis for white people in response to acknowledging racism and its roots.

In systemic constellations, there is dignity in returning the guilt to the perpetrator. It is the rightful place for guilt, which can often be mis-correctly held by the victim and is often seen in abuser/abused situations. There is responsibility and dignity in freeing the victim from an emotion that does not belong to them, as well as the opportunity for the perpetrator to act with conscience moving forwards. Racism is a collective issue, and therefore the guilt must be returned to the benefactors of slavery: white people. In this way we can choose to question our beliefs, the structure of our society, our relationship with power, take new action in the world and shape a new society based on freedom and love.

Another systemic perspective that is pertinent to this discussion is ‘radical inclusion’ - that all people, responses and emotions must be included. Everything makes up the whole and so we cannot reject any experiences from the conversation, even if we disagree with them. Zita Tulyahikayo and James Pereira write that “those wishing to support diversity must be willing to hear all voices, including the perpetrators and those who are seemingly “in the wrong”. To promote diversity we must embrace all that comes with diversity, including conflict.”

It makes sense - how can we heal fully if certain voices are excluded from the conversation? If hate and fear remain on the outside, they can never be transformed in the space of love. Perhaps courageous conversations about rage, hate and fear will be some of the most difficult we need to have.

VOICES

Zita & James write further: “When we silence marginalised voices, we silence the truth-tellers, we silence the voice of the system and it will bring us to a rude awakening, like the noxious fumes under the stairs. When we are courageous enough to acknowledge all the different voices in the system, we can garner a sense of all the different values in play, and we can identify what is needed for change.” You can read their full article about diversity, radical inclusion and the systemic perspective here.

I think the most important thing we can do is listen to black voices and other voices of colour. For too long they have been silenced, ignored, oppressed, not included. The conversation has been one-sided, and we must seek to redress this balance.

Step one: Listen, listen, listen.

For black people, the depth of rage and pain they have carried from their ancestors is staggering. Again, language seems insufficient to convey the terrors and horrors, the inhumanity, the genocidal deeds perpetrated against their ancestors. To give voice to the rage of centuries. For the grief, loss and humiliation. For the discrimination, injustices and deaths that still occur today at the hands of white people and structural racism.

If you are a white person reading this, step two is to become aware of how you respond. How does your body respond to black history/herstory? How does your energy respond to the emotions expressed by black voices? How does your mind automatically respond?

Step three is to acknowledge each response, without pushing it away. Steps two and three are integral and cannot be separated. They are a process of allowing reactions, emotions, prejudices to arise and come into awareness - in order that they can be seen, re-considered, released, transformed.

Anton Hart PhD describes this process as “learning to be so radically undefended that you can be open to the other, open to the person who is different from you, in a profound way, in a deeply personal way.”

Step four is embodying this awareness in your life, based on respect for all people. And we will cycle between all of the steps, cycling and recycling, updating our knowledge, awareness and actions.

Steps two and three may also be useful for black people and people of colour. In what way have you internalised the white majority and oppression within yourself? Have you minimised your experience of racism? Is there a subsequent response to this?

In Black Psychoanalysts Speak Anton Hart PhD says “there’s a not-so-distant link to slavery, there’s a not-so-distant link to both emotional and physical danger - annihilation - so when a person experiences racism they experience a threat to their life.” I think this is hugely important to bear in mind going forwards, and to be incredibly mindful of the trauma of racism.

Everyone will have their own unique collection of responses to this emotive issue. So go gently and mindfully with yourself as you do this work, and seek the help of a professional if you find you need a holding space.

C. Jama Adams PhD says “We just don’t have a language for talking about race in a thoughtful way”. We will need to begin to create together - to co-create - this language and dialogue.

I think our path forward is finding the spaces, the people and the language in order to have these conversations - to realise, express, feel and allow release to centuries of silence and oppression.

IN THE CONTEXT OF COVID

The huge movement of Black Lives Matter has swelled during this strange time of coronavirus. It is no coincidence.

The words spoken by George Floyd, “I can’t breathe”, echoed deep into the psyches of every single person, precisely because of heightened awareness of the vulnerability associated with the lungs and coronavirus. His words tapped into the human fear of death. And they gave us pause to consider life. Whose life is of value? Who decides?

It brought home the sickness of racism in our society - a virus which has been embedded within our culture for centuries - and put the brief appearance of Covid into a vastly different perspective. The words of Benjamin Crump at the memorial speak powerfully to the “pandemic of racism and discrimination” that killed George Floyd.

Covid-19 offered us a powerful moment to step over a threshold, to cross a gateway, to move through a portal, from past to future. This spiritual space was rewriting and resetting our system: reorienting us to fairness, love and freedom for all. In The Global Portal of Awakening I wrote that “this time foretells a potential global shift in consciousness through the confrontation of enormous and urgent issues”. It opened us to clearing up our minds, removing what is toxic from our bodies & beliefs, shifting from the mental to the spiritual, and rallying as a global collective.

The Covid portal challenged us on a mental level to consider how our thoughts, beliefs and words affect our lives, our actions and wider society. What we think - or don’t think - about is hugely significant. Where do we put our attention? Where are our blindspots? Whose voices do we listen to? Where does our perspective come from? (Have we inherited it?)

Some of the questions that have emerged from this collective existential moment are: What are our values? What sort of community and society do we want to live in? If life is so fragile, what can we put our faith in? What sustains and nourishes us?

The portal of awakening precipitated by Covid caused us to consider our mental strength and fortitude. What faulty beliefs are we buying into (personal and collective)? What have we accepted to be true, which is not the truth? For example, the belief that we live in a fair and progressive society, has been radically challenged by the murderous racism we have witnessed on our screens.

We cannot go backwards through this time, even if society appears to be no different on the outside. The same is true for racism: we cannot un-know what we now know. We cannot un-see what we have seen. We cannot hold down the rising tide of justice and love. The only direction is forwards, there is no ‘going back to normal’; we must go forwards to a new way of being.

For many people this is a radically new way of being… because it concerns Love.

Back in February I wrote of the Gateway of Love and this theme of love has continued to run beneath all of the pandemic proceedings, human anxiety and fear, and the shocking reality of structural racism in society. Love has persevered, endured, continued in its forward movement to bring balance to all people, all races and across the world. It’s a long journey, yes, but the foundation of love is an unwavering energy that I am deeply grateful to be in touch with.

In the blog I wrote “It is a moment to at once die, to surrender all of yourself, to live fully, to be reborn into love and to expand into an unknown intimacy with yourself.” In facing the death outside of ourselves, it confronted us with a mirror to our souls, it touched something within ourselves that was ready to die and be reborn in love. This deeper connection with ourselves and all of humanity is the fuel we need to continue forward on our new path: forging the way through truth and love.

bell hooks writes poignantly and poetically in All About Love: New Visions, “When we choose to love we choose to move against fear - against alienation and separation. The choice to love is a choice to connect - to find ourselves in the other.”

THE WHITE QUESTION

The white question is often “what can I do?” and I know I have asked this of myself. I think it is a natural question arising from a desire to readjust the balance, to make amends for the collective actions from previous white generations and to absolve an uncomfortable feeling of guilt.

As Brené Brown said in Unlocking Us (podcast below): “I think there are people who don’t want to be in the racist category… because there’s so much shame associated with that. And they don’t want to be in the anti-racist category, because there’s so much frickin’ work attached to that.”

My proposal is to take the following key words as you begin the work within yourself and in your wider communities, networks and culture: Awareness, Accountability, Active support and Anti-racist.

For white readers reading this blog, here are a few brief suggestions:

• Inform yourself with the voices of black people - if you need a starting place try About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge

• Give yourself the gift of a history re-education e.g. the UCL project on The Legacies of British Slave-ownership

• Have “difficult and messy conversations” about race and racism - with a trained professional if you need a holding space

• Understand your own internal responses to racism, and where they originate from. Find constructive, active, anti-racist ways forward

• Listen to Unlocking Us with Brené Brown and Ibram X. Kendi

• Take actions in your circles - family, community and organisations. Encourage conversations about race and racism

• Join and/or support Black Lives Matter

• If you are reading this blog because you are interested in wellbeing and mental health, donate to Black Minds Matter

If you are white then you have white privilege - and responsibility to become aware, accountable, active and anti-racist.

THE JOURNEY

In my whole life, I think I have had one true, deep and exploratory conversation about race. But as Professor Ibram Kendi said “I used to run away from anti-racist books, but now I’m running towards them”. I am seeking out information to re-educate myself, and I plan to have many more conversations about race throughout the rest of my life.

My whole personal journey has been about my voice and I feel deeply in my soul the issues of social justice, oppression and freedom. I was deeply moved by Coco Gauff’s words: “You need to use your voice no matter how big or small your platform is, you need to use your voice.” I hope she speaks to you too.

As a white person, I am using my voice to say that we need to call out systemic racism and restructure the systems that perpetuate it. I believe we need to overhaul the education system, give true voice to history (and herstory) without white-washing. Teaching children (and adults) the truth of the British Empire is the foundation for removing far-right poison, hatred and discrimination.

We must recognise the full and awful truth - and legacy - of slavery, confront the reality of white privilege, and embed black history in every day of every month of every year of every cycle moving forwards. We must root out the false and mis-educated basis for prejudice, fear and violence.

We must think clearly in black and white and face the stark reality of our society’s past and present. Then we must do the hard work of working through anger, shame, fear, ignorance and grief with a commitment to wholeheartedly support and practice the principles of equality, honesty and love.

This takes courage - from everybody. It takes courage to look in our shadows, to confront our guilt, fear and ignorance. It takes courage to stand up against an oppressive society. It takes courage to choose love.

The energy portal we have been going through fully supports this radical new way of being - a lifting of the oppression we have been carrying personally and collectively, a dawning of truth we have previously not been able to see or access, and a brave new world that is just and fair.

There truly is no freedom for anyone until everybody is free and equal. This is the world I want to live in, and I will do my piece.

To black people, people of colour and all those involved in Black Lives Matter: may you all stand strong and have courage, fortitude and faith in your hearts. May every person who shows up and speaks out in Love renew your spirit to rise strong from oppression.

Do you want or need a space to talk about your experience of race, racism and white privilege? Contact bryony@creativesoultherapies.com

Are you looking for a black mental health professional? Check out Black Minds Matter

Are you a white therapist or professional working with black clients? Watch ‘Black Psychoanalysts Speak’ here